AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn’t really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! (When the fuck did Cedric come to the party? I think that when Tara gets bad comments, she makes shit up so it works in her favor, but in reality, it just makes her look like even more of a dunderhead.)
I was about to slit my wrists again (AGAIN? Its a wonder you’re still breathing. Every damn chapter you cut yourself at least once.) with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him.(When did he give her this knife? They’ve been dating for like, two days.) He had told me to use it valiantly (Hahaha. “Use it valiantly”. Why doesn’t she, oh, I don’t know, use her WAND? You know, the thing she can cast spells with? Well, we’ve seen her skills with the wand (Crookshanks!) so maybe that isn’t such a good idea.) against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.
“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid (Why is HAIR is caps like that?)but it was Vampire. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.(His “red whites”? What?)
I stopped. “How did u know?” (This is just a crazy guess, but I think he knows his scar hurts because its HIS FUCKING SCAR!)
“I saw it! (SAW WHAT?) And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!”
“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.
“I do but Diabolo (aka pseudo-Ron) changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” (Why bother transfiguring it, just to cover it up with foundation?) he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! (Lol, from what?) then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco……(I’m sure these dots are meant for prolonging the suspense, but they really fucking annoy me.)……….Volfemort has him bondage!” (Ooooh. Kinky. Hahaha. I can just picture Draco with a ball-gag in his mouth, wearing leather underwear and tied to a bed with Voldy performing the Cruciatus Curse on him.)
Anyway I was in the school nurse’s (I think she means Hospital Wing)office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID(CAPS again? Really?) were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s(Haha. St. Mango. He’s the Patron Saint of Tropical Fruit.) after they recovered cause they were pedofiles (You don’t recover from pedophilia in a hospital) and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. (Who said any of them were attractive?) Dumbledore had constipated (Best. Word mix-up. EVER.)the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.
Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.
“Enoby I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. (She really needs to abbreviate a word as short as ‘very’? Well, I guess with her track record in the spelling department, it might be for the best.) serious voice, giving me the roses.
“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway,(Which is why in every single chapter she’s been wearing at least one item of clothing that was pink.) and I don’t like fucked up preps like you. (How is Hagrid preppy?!)” I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.
“No Enoby.” Hargrid says. “Those are not roses.” (I think Hagrid is lying.)
“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” (Huh?)I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.
“I saved your life!” (WHEN?) He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.”(Looks like me and Enoby are on the same page for once.) “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video (She can’t write the word “porn”?) made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong (Yes. You also spelled “wrong” wrong.)) to it he added silently.
“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.
He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” (So he says.) He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! . (Lol, what the fuck is Hagrid trying to do?)
“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.(<~ Awesome word choice.)
“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” (With song lyrics by a band who hadn’t even formed yet? This takes place in 1997, people.) Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!” (That’s got to be the worst made up spell ever.)
And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. (You said that already.) Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.(Because floating flames is indicative of stereotype?)
“OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?” (I wonder if she knows that wtf does not mean “Where the fuck”, but “What the fuck”)
Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.(Wouldn’t she see black flame?)
“U c, Enobby,” Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”
“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Hargrid yelled. (Is your name Enoby?!) dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back. (She needs to give the headache thing a rest.)
Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!” (But.. he didn’t say anything…)
Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong (Now, why did she have to bring Beej into this? He’s a perfectly nice person and she has to defile him by putting him in this shit story.) on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) (The Ring is a horror movie. There are plenty of normal people who have seen it. And Samara was a little freak and her hair looked retarded.) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. (Red lipstick AND black lip gloss? If you say so..)
“You look kawai, girl.” B’loody Mary said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. (Hair of Magical Creatures?) He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.
“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. (Isn’t he still attached to a Hufflepuff?) “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.
We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. (What? Why? Man, Enoby is a SKANK!)
“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” (Hahahahahaha. I like her insult better.) shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.
“Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily. (But she was equally enthusiastic about them having sex!)
Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. (This happened already!)
“NO!” I ran up closer. (And this.)
“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted. (And this.)
“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!” (And this.)
SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111
HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I (What a weird way to ask for a sweater. Whatever happened to texting or email?)